Paper #3 (Grievance)

Nefi Navarro

Prof. Brady

English 102

April 18, 2011

Grievance: The Pathway to Acceptance

            Psychologists have determined over the years of studying the human mind that, grief is a process that occurs in the life of every person in many ways. Studies have shown that five stages of grief are present in the life of a person who becomes impacted by a loss. Whether or not this loss is a death or a breakup of a romantic relationship, the stages are still very similar. While a person is in grief they may feel denial, anger, bargaining, depression or acceptance. The theme of grief is evidently presented in the poems “Stop all the Clocks, cut off the telephone” by W.H. Auden, “The Leaving” by Colin Jarratt and the song, “Missing You” by The Black Eyed Peas.

            In the poem “Stop all the Clocks, cut off the telephone” by W.H. Auden, the speaker has suffered a loss which had clearly affected him and proves that everyone goes through stages of grief. In this poem the speaker speaks about a person who is very valuable in their life. “He was my North, my South, my East and my West” (Auden Line 9). The symbol of a compass is used to express a sense of direction which was lost when the person passed away.  “I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong…/ for nothing now can ever come to any good” (Auden line 12 & 16). The person has proven that they have given up stating nothing will be better without the other. The speaker has realized that they will no longer be with the loved one and becomes depressed. Depression can strike in many different ways, sometimes it may last for a short period of time or it may last years. However, this speaker becomes depressed which is the tone of the poem and also is one of the stages of grief. Auden writes this poem clearly showing that the speaker is impacted by the loss, and is suffering the stage of depression on the road to acceptance. Like W.H. Auden, Colin Jarratt writes a poem about grief and the effects of losing someone special in life.

            After his wife Elizabeth passed away, writer Colin Jarratt felt both anger and pain. “To hold you in my arms again…/ I’d pay the price and gladly have no worry to the cost” (Jarratt line 7-8). The loss caused this person to attempt to bargain what is truly the impossible. While a person is going through the stage of bargaining in grief, they often feel they would do anything to have that person back in their life. The speaker has lost his wife and feels both anger and deep sadness for not having that person. He thought the pain would ease, but realized “It can never be the same” (Jarratt line 10) without that person. The husband becomes depressed, also another stage of grief, along with anger from his wife becoming deceased. He feels guilt, but most of all he feels incomplete without his wife, thus causing his depression and sad thoughts. The husband lost his wife and is going through a hard time accepting the facts. It is more than normal for even a male, to feel remorse or become emotional due to a loss. Some stages of grief may not come in a specific order, but the experience and similar ideas occur in each case of grievance. Although this person’s sorrow comes from a death, many who are involved in a relationship and become separated or divorced also experience grievance in some way or another such as the words/message behind “Missing You” by the Black Eyed Peas.

            In the song “Missing You” by the Black Eyed Peas, the artist writes about missing a person who is not in the picture anymore and, how they are impacted. Unlike the two poems this song’s theme is grief due to a break-up of a relationship and not a death. “I can’t stand another night…without you”, this songwriter misses the person so much they actually speak as if other will come back. This part links up with denial stage of grievance in which the speaker misses the other so much they cannot believe the relationship is completely over. Another phase of grief presented within this song is, Depression. The guy in the song relates his total devotion towards his love as his religion that he misses, “I miss you church”. He states, “My mind is on you”, clearly proving how much this person misses the other. Since the person has left the speaker feels that his world would “suck” without the love. While trying to get over the person the speaker questions his future without the love, without her love. “Can’t live without your love…What’s me without your love” (B.E.P).

            The theme of Grief is clearly evident in the poems by W.H. Auden, Colin Jarratt and in the song by the Black Eyed Peas. Every one suffers from a break-up or a death. Sometimes getting over this may vary depending on the person and the relationship lost. The two poems and the song clearly show that grief is different for everyone, but the stages one goes through are the same. Grief is an important process that is natural to all and every one will experience it at some point in life.